Embrace

This is not my best. But I needed to process and so I did. The end.


May 11, 2021 
Embrace (v.): to take up gladly -embrace a cause

I've been working on some things lately---mostly self-improvement-type things. Exercise. Nutrition. Bible Study. Church. Books. Blogs. Therapy. Antidepressants.

Someone asked me, "Are these things working?" And my answer, my honest to goodness from the bottom of my heart answer is no. None of these things alone or together are making a better me. I still get easily irritated. I still get anxious. I still lose patience with my kids. I still expect my husband to read my mind. I still feel guilty. I still don't sleep well. I still binge eat. And on and on...

Someone else explained to me the following: In order to see real change, I have to give up my efforts to God and allow Him to make the changes. This was very difficult for me to understand. I am a problem solver by nature. Problem--work--solution---bam. Get 'er done. But as I wrestled with these ideas and rested in Scripture and God's promises throughout the week, I realized what she meant. I can do the work to improve, and I should work at being a better wife, mother, daughter, friend, etc. But I cannot control nor can I expect the results to be what I imagine because I do not control anything or anyone else except for me. So what I need to do is let go of the expectations for the results of my work. In other words, I work, God uses the work for His glory. His results. And His timing. And I trust Him.

And then I felt at peace when all of this came to be and when it hit me and began to resonate in me.

And then almost immediately, God began to test me. 

Hey Danielle! Oliver is going to pull out every single toy he owns and dump out all of his bins and take all of his books off his shelf and cover his floor so you cannot even see the floor. Whattaya gonna do bout it?
Hey Danielle! Charlotte is going to start this new phase where she talks like a baby to get attention and repeats herself over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Whattaya gonna do bout it?
Hey Danielle! Your plans are going to change at the last minute.
Hey Danielle! Your family is going to turn on the TV and Alexa while the dogs bark and the guy next door mows.
Hey Danielle! Everyone needs to eat dinner.

Well surprise surprise. I got frustrated. I was impatient. I said some not nice things. I used an ugly tone. I yelled. And the entire time, I could HEAR the Lord the telling me to STOP. and LISTEN. and TAKE A MINUTE. and EMBRACE His truth and trust Him with the outcome of all of these "problems" (Which are not ACTUALY SUPER SERIOUS PROBLEMS), and I IGNORED Him! I am the worst.

Thank God tomorrow is another day.
Another chance for me to EMBRACE God's truth. Embrace second chances. Embrace God's promises.


    





 

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